OFUAS
by Taslin-Jewel-of-Glacia
Summary: The Official Fanfiction University of the Arcadian Skies." With permission from Miss Cam. The cast of Skies are disgusted with how they are portrayed in fanfics, and decide to teach the authors how to write properly...Chapter 3 up!
1. Unexpected Visitors

The Official Fanfiction University of the Arcadian Skies  
  
Kaela & Siren: Hi, everyone! This is our attempt to write an OFU for SoA (L)! YAY, OFU!  
  
This fanfic was written with permission from the revered Miss Cam (Camilla Sandman), creator of the original university, OFUM. If you haven't read hers, DO! Her writing is MUCH better than ours, and we're not just kissing up to her, either! We mean it!  
  
Also, a special thanks to Miss V (Vyctori) for inspiring us to write this with her OFU, OFURNK.  
  
Disclaimer: We do not own the plot or characters of Skies, and we never have; SEGA and Overworks do.  
  
--  
  
Chapter 1: Unexpected Visitors  
  
"DIE, VALUAN SCUM! Moonstone Cannon, FIRE!"  
  
On the screen, a beam of orchid light shot towards a grey Valuan spell- ship. Back in reality, Mint gripped her Wavebird with both hands, knuckles turning white.  
  
"Come on," she urged the game. "Don't fail me now, Delphinus; kill it!"  
  
The Moonstone Cannon hit, and the enemy ship went down in flames.  
  
"YES!" Mint pumped her arm. "Victory is MINE!"  
  
The door to her bedroom flew open.  
  
"Marisa Isabelle Cortéz!" Lorena shouted at her procrastinating daughter. "What do you think you're doing?!"  
  
Mint rolled her eyes. "I told you not to call me that, Mom!" she whined. "What kind of person is named Marisa? My name is Mint. Mint, Mint, MINT!"  
  
"You're supposed to be doing your homework!" her mother continued as though she had not heard. "Not playing video games!"  
  
"This isn't just any video game!" Mint protested. "Skies of Arcadia: Legends is the best game ever!"  
  
"I don't care what game it is; school comes first. Now, turn off the Gamecube."  
  
"But MOM!" Mint pleaded. "I'm in the middle of Valua, and the last time I saved was an hour ago!"  
  
"Turn it off NOW." Mint gulped and nodded. When Lorena Cortéz used that icy tone of voice, it meant one thing: Obey or be destroyed. Mint turned it off, and her mother left, slamming the door behind her.  
  
Mint sighed and looked for something else to do. Homework was not an option; it was May, for goodness sake. Who did their homework that close to summer vacation? Nerds, that was who.  
  
Her roving eyes fell on her computer. She brightened and sat down in front of the screen. Writing a few of her spectacular fanfics would cheer her up. She brought up a word document and began to type.  
  
It was a brit suny day in Nars. Ramirez wondered thru thestreets of Mramba. Im lonely he touhgt. I wsh I had a grlfrend.  
  
Perfect, she thought. Another brilliant start to a brilliant fanfic. That ought to get me lots of reviews. She continued to type her fingers off.  
  
Sudenly, he saw her. The luv of his live. She had long strabery blond hair and tel eyes. "Wah tis youre name?" he aked her. "Mintalia," she ansered, looking at him with her teal eys. "I wuv you," he sayd. "I kno" she said "I luv you to." "your beautiful" he said, takin her hand amd kising it gentely.  
  
"Marisa, you better be doing your homework up there!" shouted her mother.  
  
Mint rolled eyes again. "Whatever. Now, where was I? Oh, yeah, I was just getting to the good part!" She moved her hands toward the keyboard, about to type the lemon forming in her brain, when something hard touched the back of her neck. She froze.  
  
"I wouldn't do that..." a cold voice murmured behind her.  
  
"... if I were you," an equally cold voice finished.  
  
Mint stopped breathing. Horrified, she wondered what kind of evil terrorists had invaded her bedroom. She turned around and nearly fainted from fright.  
  
Three men were standing there behind her. One, a tall black-haired man dressed in red, stood near her left shoulder. He had a slender katana drawn, and was eyeing her warily. Leaning against the wall by her bedroom door was another, so like the first man that they had to be twins. He, too, seemed suspicious of her and everything in her room.  
  
But it was the third man who took her breath away. He was tall, with long black hair held back in a ponytail. He wore a blue and gold robe tied around his waist and thrown over one shoulder, exposing most of his massive pectoral muscles. His black eyes were alight with curiosity as he studied her abandoned Wavebird.  
  
In short, he was gorgeous. He was also eerily familiar, as were his two companions.  
  
"This is the oddest-looking thing I've ever seen," he commented, his English strangely accented but understandable. He held the wireless controller upside-down and showed it to her. "What is it?"  
  
Mint didn't answer his question, only stared at him, unable to speak for a long time. When she finally found her voice, it came out as a squeak.  
  
"It-it can't be...y-you're...you're..." She looked from the men to the Gamecube and back again. "But...but you aren't real...I must be hallucinating or something!"  
  
"No, you aren't hallucinating, and yes, I am real," Prince Daigo of Yafutoma informed her. "At least, I was the last time I checked. Now, what is this again?"  
  
"A Wavebird," she told him, still unable to believe her eyes. "But, if you're really Prince Daigo..."  
  
"Prince Daigo? What are we..."  
  
"Chopped Romuhai?" muttered Jao and Mao in turn. The twin bodyguards did not appreciate being ignored, but they were used to it.  
  
"...what are you doing in my bedroom?" Mint continued.  
  
"Glad you asked." Daigo tossed the Wavebird back on her bed and grinned amiably at her. "We are here on behalf of the Official Fanfiction University of the Arcadian Skies to inform you that you are currently in violation of Clause 1620a of the Arcadian Fanfiction Code."  
  
Mint blinked. If this was a dream, it wasn't like any of the other dreams she'd had before. "Huh?" Then, remembering her mother's countless lectures, "I mean, I beg your pardon?"  
  
"I said, you are currently in viola-oh, never mind." Daigo sounded annoyed. "It would be pointless to try. In other words, you can't write any more Skies of Arcadia fanfiction without a license."  
  
"WHAT?!" Mint was shocked. "Since when do you need a license to write fanfics?"  
  
"Since last week." Daigo continued to sound annoyed. "Do you want your license or not?"  
  
"Yes, of course," Mint assured him, deciding to play along with this latest fantasy. "How do I get one?"  
  
"That's more like it." Daigo's voice took on a practiced singsong, like someone who had done this many times before. "To receive a Skies of Arcadia fanfiction license, you have to enroll in the Official Fanfiction University of the Arcadian Skies, and pass its courses. To enroll, just fill out these forms." He tossed a sheaf of papers at her, and they landed in her lap. "And I suggest you pack your things; it's going to be a long year. Any questions?"  
  
"One. Does my mom know you're here?"  
  
"No," Jao cut in (or perhaps it was Mao who spoke—it was harder to tell outside the video game) before Daigo could answer.  
  
"And you aren't going to tell her," his brother added, looking at his katana suggestively.  
  
Mint stared at them, then looked down at the papers. "So, let me get this straight. You guys invade my room, tell me I'm not allowed to write fanfics anymore, then give me a bunch of forms to sign, without letting me inform my mother? Yeah, right! Like I'll listen to you! Just how stupid do you think I am?"  
  
"I'm not going to answer that," Daigo informed her cheerily. "Which reminds me—can I use your computer, please?" He flashed her a smile, and Mint felt her brain turn to mush. Although she truly preferred Ramirez, the dashing Silvite, Daigo was more than cute enough for her.  
  
"Sure," she crooned, moving her chair off to the side. "Go ahead."  
  
"Thank you." Daigo came over and erased her new story. "Much better."  
  
Watching her work disappear, Mint snapped out of her mindless drooling. "HEY! That's mine!"  
  
"Not anymore," Daigo said brightly. He emptied her recycle bin and shut down the computer. He stood up, stretched, and said, "Well, we had best be going. Be sure to fill out those forms!"  
  
He walked over to where his bodyguards waited. "Bluheim's breath, do I need a break. Jao, remind me again how I got myself into this?"  
  
"I believe that you owe..." Jao began.  
  
"A favor to Lady—" Mao continued, but he was cut off. A silver aura surrounded the three Yafutomans, and they disappeared.  
  
Mint stared at the spot of their recent departure until she was sure her eyeballs were going to bleed. Then she shook herself and rubbed her eyelids.  
  
"That," she remarked, "was the strangest dream I have ever had. That's it, I'm going to bed early; I'll shut off the game at 1:30 tonight."  
  
She looked over at her computer. "I must have imagined the whole thing. Too bad; that was a great story. I'll just have to try my best to recreate it."  
  
She was about to reboot the computer when she happened to look down. The papers Daigo had given her were still in her lap.  
  
I must still be hallucinating, she realized. Well, I've played along with it this far...I might as well continue to do so. She flopped down on her bed, took out her favorite pencil, and began to fill out the form.  
  
Name: Marisa "Mint" Cortez  
  
Penname: ramirez4eva782  
  
Gender: Female  
  
Age (does not have to be a specific number): 16  
  
Eye color:  
  
Hair color:  
  
Mint looked in the mirror, lips pursing thoughtfully. Brown hair and brown eyes were so ordinary. Why couldn't she just write down something a little more unique? It was only a hallucination, after all. It didn't matter what she put.  
  
She filled in 'Teal' for eye color and 'Strawberry-blond' for hair color, just like Mintalia from her imagined fanfiction, before continuing.  
  
Any other distinguishing features:  
  
She took off her glasses and polished them. If she was going to hallucinate herself a makeover, she had better take it all the way!  
  
She filled in "20-20 vision" and giggled. This was kind of fun!  
  
Nationality (check one): Nasr Valua Ixa'taka Yafutoma Glacia Soltis Mid Ocean Other (please specify):   
  
Like that's a hard choice! she thought, circling "Soltis."  
  
Are you good, evil, or neutral? Neutral  
  
Favorite Character: Ramirez  
  
Least Favorite Character: Alfonso  
  
Lust Object(s): Ramirez :D!!!! And Daigo! And maybe Vyse a little...  
  
Do you know what a Mary-Sue/Gary-Stu is? No...  
  
Do you write them? What the heck are they?!?  
  
Name three pairings you support. Ramirez/OC, Vyse/Aika, Enrique/Moegi  
  
Name three pairings you despise. Vigoro/Aika, Vyse/Fina, Fina/Ramirez  
  
Any additional comments (be brief): It sure doesn't matter what I put on this form, 'cuz this is just a hallucination, isn't it?  
  
By signing below, you, the future student of the Official Fanfiction University of the Arcadian Skies (hereafter referred to as OFUAS), hereby agree that OFUAS is not responsible for any physical or mental damage done to your person or belongings during your stay at OFUAS. Anything you care to write on this form can and will be used to make your stay as unpleasant as possible. By writing this in such small print, we guarantee that you will probably not read this, and are already dreaming up your latest Vyse/OC romance, creating chibis, and/or wreaking havoc with canon. So just sign the line and make everyone happy, you evil Sue-writer.  
  
By signing the line below, you agree to everything written above.  
  
X  
  
Thank you, and have an interesting school year!  
  
Lady Kae and Commandante Koi Deputy Headmistresses  
  
Mint just skimmed the final paragraph before signing her name. The print was so tiny, and the words were so long! And it was just a dream anyway. What harm could it possibly do?  
  
"Marisa!" called her mother. "Your father's home!"  
  
"Coming!" she yelled back, and rushed out of the room, leaving the forms on her bed.  
  
While she was downstairs greeting her father, a gust of wind wafted through the open window. The papers rose into the air and flew outside. A few seconds later, lightning flashed across the sky, and two sets of maniacal laughter rang through the air. Then, they slowly died away, and all was silent.  
  
--  
  
Siren: Review, please! No flames, but constructive criticism is fine.  
  
Kaela: Okay! This is a good time to announce that we will be taking applications for students at OFUAS!  
  
Siren: To apply, just fill out the form below and send it to this email address:  
  
sarahschu(at)mail(dot)com  
  
Kaela: Oh, and one more thing.  
  
DO NOT SIGN UP VIA REVIEW!!!! ANY APPLICATIONS SUBMITTED IN A REVIEW WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED!!!!  
  
Name:  
  
Penname:  
  
Gender:  
  
Age (does not have to be a specific number):  
  
Eye color:  
  
Hair color:  
  
Any other distinguishing features:  
  
Nationality (circle one): Nasr Valua Ixa'taka Yafutoma Glacia Soltis Mid Ocean Other (please specify):   
  
Are you good, evil, or neutral?  
  
Favorite Character:  
  
Least Favorite Character:  
  
Lust Object(s):  
  
Do you know what a Mary-Sue/Gary-Stu is?  
  
Do you write them?  
  
Name three pairings you support.  
  
Name three pairings you despise.  
  
Any additional comments (be brief):  
  
By signing below, you, the future student of the Official Fanfiction University of the Arcadian Skies (hereafter referred to as OFUAS), hereby agree that OFUAS is not responsible for any physical or mental damage done to your person or belongings during your stay at OFUAS. Anything you care to write on this form can and will be used to make your as unpleasant as possible. By writing this in such small print, we guarantee that you will probably not read this, and are already dreaming up your latest Vyse/OC romance, creating chibis, and/or wreaking havoc with canon. So just sign the line and make everyone happy, you evil Sue-writer.  
  
By signing the line below, you agree to everything written above.  
  
X  
  
Thank you, and have a wonderful school year!  
  
Miss Kae and Miss Koi Deputy Headmistresses 


	2. A Grouch, a Fangirl, a Bird, and a Boy

The Official Fanfiction University of the Arcadian Skies

Kaela: Hi, everyone! Thanks for all of the lovely reviews and applications! We have 12 students attending OFUAS currently.

Siren: YAY! Keep those applications coming! Now, to answer the reviews:

Desert Lynx: Thanks! I hope you do!

Skyraptor66: Again, thank you! Yes, that's part of the reason we started this fic. Hopefully, we can help to stop old Gregorio from turning in his grave, hmm?

plutospawn: I'm glad you approve. This is going to be fun...mwahaha...

theoneknownasme: Yes, please do! Moreover, be sure to let me know if there are any problems, okay?

Mr. Me: Well, I hope it is interesting!

Devil Dog: Yes, this is going to be fun. Just wait; we've got some nasty stuff planned for our students...

Necromancer Aiko666: Thank you! We love OFUs, too.

LadyLanet: Thank you for your enthusiasm. With any luck, we plan to make this a 30-chapter story with 100 reviews, so don't abandon us, okay? Oh, and thanks for saying yes about our plans for Liv. We're going to have lots of fun with her, oh, yes...

Nathan Lambes: Yes, this is going to be a long-term project, and we're going to need all the help we can get. So, although we are definitely going to do this somewhat, if we portray your character terribly wrong, let us know. We'll do what we can to fix it.

Knightblazer 88: Thanks! What an honor, to have our fic be compared to OFUW! That makes us really pleased! Yes, this section needed an OFU rather desperately, didn't it? Well, here you go. Please do send in an application; we can always use more victims...I mean, students.

Kaela: Oh, and as far as we know, Centime's wife never had a name, so we're calling her Marie.

Disclaimer: We do not own the plot or characters of Skies, and we never have; SEGA and Overworks do. Moreover, Miss Cam owns the concept of OFUs, as well as the color urple.

Chapter 2: A Grouch, a Fangirl, a Bird, and a Boy.

The sound of a whirring engine woke Mint. She groaned, but did not open her eyes.

That's weird, she thought to herself. Did I fall asleep in the car or something? She didn't remember getting out of bed, let alone into a car, but she often blanked out in the morning.

Stretching, she was a little surprised to find herself in a reclining position, with no seat belt around her waist. Curiouser and curiouser, she thought, unknowingly quoting one of the greatest books of all time.

Suddenly, she felt her surroundings lurch, and she rolled off her perch and hit the ground with a loud BAM. Surprisingly, it hurt—a lot.

"Ouch..." she groaned, and finally opened her eyes. Then she sat up, staring around her. Her jaw dropped.

Wherever this place was, it certainly wasn't her car, nor her bedroom, nor her desk at school, nor any of the other places she was likely to wake up in. She was in a totally unfamiliar setting. The room was tiny, and the walls appeared to be made of tarnished steel. The floor was of the same material, and it was this on which she had fallen. Leaning against the wall behind her were two sets of bunk beds, both empty. To the right of the bunks was a small, paneless window. On the opposite wall was a closed door.

Mint started to panic. Had she been kidnapped or something? Heart beating frantically, she rushed to the window and looked out. What she saw made her heart skip a few beats.

She looked out into a world of clouds. They were close enough for her to reach out and touch them. She saw no ground beneath the vessel.

Relax, she told herself, trying desperately to calm down. It's probably just foggy out. We can't possibly be flying...

Then she saw a big mass of land, suspended in midair, pass by her window. Her scream shook the airship, and the crew out on deck covered their ears.

Mint ran to the door and tried to push it outward, but it wouldn't open.

"Oh, no! I'm locked in!"

Then she noticed a sign. She read it aloud, "To open, pull, don't push."

"Oh...right." She pulled on the door, and it opened with a prolonged creak. She cautiously stepped outside, only to be greeted by someone.

"Hello! You must be Mint. Welcome aboard the Iron Clad." A middle-aged woman with red-brown hair approached her, smiling warmly. "I'm Captain's Centime's wife, Marie. My husband is in the engine room at the moment, so I was sent to greet you when you awoke."

Mint stared at the woman. "Centime!?!?"

Marie sighed, like a mother who has put up with a particularly naughty child all day. "Ah, you're one of the incredulous variety. Yes, Centime. Don't you remember, dear? We picked you up with the Iron Clad last night." When Mint looked confused, she added, "To take you to the university, my dear. Does 'the Official Fanfiction University of the Arcadian Skies' ring any bells?"

"No...wait...oh, no. You can't mean—" Mint put her hands over her eyes. "Oh, no! I'm still hallucinating!"

Marie patted her shoulder. "I'm sorry, but you aren't hallucinating. Now, why don't you go around to the stern and meet your fellow students? I'm sure they can explain things to you better than I can." She gestured to a catwalk that led around the ship and gave Mint a little encouraging shove. "Go on, dear."

Mint didn't know how it happened, but somehow she found herself walking around the ship's cabin, desperately avoiding looking down. At last, she came to the back, and stared at the three teenage individuals in front of her.

One of the girls had dark red hair and light blue eyes, and she wore clothing that resembled something from Upper City Valua. She sat on a metal storage container, looking bored. The boy looked rather like a young Ramirez, with white hair and strangely unnerving green eyes. He was even wearing a Silvite outfit. He leaned casually on the railing nearby, the breeze ruffling his hair.

The second girl, dressed in Mid Ocean attire, was the one who REALLY made Mint stare. Her hair was black, but that was one of the few parts of her that looked normal. For one thing, she wasn't entirely human. She sported a pair of reddish-orange wings, a tail of the same plumage, and feet that resembled talons. Her eyes were a color Mint had never seen before, one that made her eyes burn just by looking at it. The best way to describe the color was a mixture of pink and purple in the worst possible way. The strange hybrid was lying on her—its? —stomach, playing Solitaire with a battered deck of cards.

After Mint stood there staring for a few minutes, the boy looked up to meet her gaze. "Oh, hi." He stood up straight and walked over to her, extending his hand in greeting. "I'm Xylon Altaran, also known as dal33tsilvite. Who are you?"

"My name is Mint Cortéz, but my penname is ramirez4eva782," Mint replied. "Nice to meet you."

"The pleasure is mine, Mint," Xylon told her, nodding his welcome. His eyes were even more unsettling up close. Upon further scrutiny, Mint discovered why. His irises were faceted like gemstones.

"Um, Xylon?" she queried, blushing a little. "Not to be rude or anything, but your eyes...they're..."

"Oh, that. Meh." The teenager looked annoyed. "Well, on that weird application form, I said that I had 'Emerald green' eyes and the result is this. Meh."

"What? You mean that form wasn't just a joke?" Mint looked excited. "In that case, do you know where I can find a mirror?"

"Sure. There's one over there." Xylon gestured behind her, where an abandoned hand mirror lay on the deck. Mint dashed over and picked it up.

Her new appearance astounded her. Gone was the face she remembered: the bespectacled brown-haired, brown-eyed girl. In its place was a stranger. She hadn't paid much attention before, but now she noticed that she was dressed in a Silvite outfit, just like Fina's from the game, but less decorated and without the veil. Teal eyes stared back at her, and when she blinked, so did those unfamiliar eyes.

It looked great, but something was bugging her. Although she had put 'Strawberry-blond' for her hair color, her hair was blond. She looked closer and screamed. "My hair! It has—it has FRUIT growing in it!"

"'Strawberry-blond' hair, I presume?" Xylon shook his head. "Meh, it's not that bad. Just look at poor Suzaku." He gestured to the hybrid, who didn't seem to notice them. "That girl said that she was a Phoenix Anthro, and just look at the result. Not to mention her urple eyes."

"Urple?"

"Oh, some color they discovered recently. Imagine a mixture of pink and purple—"

"I get it," Mint said quickly. "This is the weirdest dream I've ever had."

Xylon frowned. "Meh. I resent being called a figment of your imagination, but never mind. Here, I'll introduce you to the others."

Ignoring Mint's protests, Xylon grabbed her arm and dragged her over to the other two, muttering something about being surrounded by girls. "Hey, guys. This is Mint, the one who's been sleeping all morning. Mint, these are the girls, Kati "Suzaku" Selvarn and Claudia Forsythe."

Claudia, the Valuan redhead, snorted. "What kind of a name is Mint?"

Mint was about to retort, but she was swooped on by the Phoenix Anthro. "Hi, Mint, I'm Suzaku! Ouch. Nice hair." She winced. "I guess you didn't take that bloody form seriously either, eh? Oh, and ignore old Claud. In case it isn't completely obvious, she's a bloody grouch."

Claudia turned red and smacked Suzaku with her fan. "You watch your language!"

"I can say 'bloody' as much as I like, you poofy Valuan!"

"Can not!"

"Can too!"

"Can NOT!"

"Can TOO!"

"GIRLS, SHUT UP!" All three of them looked at Xylon in surprise, not expecting the outburst. Xylon colored a little and shrugged. "Meh, it's hard enough being the only male student on this transport round without you girls acting like two-year-olds. Act your ages, both of you!"

Claudia opened her mouth, (probably to give the Silvite boy a witty retort,) but then a voice echoed through the pipe that connected the deck to the bridge.

"Attention students of OFUAS. This is Captain Centime speaking. We are currently in the Nasr Airspace, and we will be docking in Nasrad Port in ten minutes. Please gather up your belongings, and secure yourselves for the landing. Thank you for flying on the Iron Clad, and have a good year at school."

"_Nasr?!_" Claudia shrieked in disbelief. "The university is in that filthy desert!?!? Absolutely not; I refuse to leave the ship!"

Despite Claudia's shrill protesting, the four students disembarked, carrying their bags, and looked around the dockside market. Students of every size and shape were milling around the port, chatting excitedly, admiring (or mourning over) their new appearances, and following various generic locals through the streets towards the palace.

A Nasrean woman came up to them, holding a list. "Ah, new arrivals. Which ship brought you here, please?" Her accent was different than Daigo's had been, Mint noticed, but she was definitely foreign-sounding.

"Centime's ship, the Iron Clad," Xylon put in quickly, noticing Claudia about to complain. The Valuan shut her mouth and sulked.

The woman skimmed her eyes down her list. "So you four are Altaran, Cortéz, Forsythe, and Selvarn, then? Excellent. Proceed to the palace gates to meet your guide to the university. And don't dawdle—you have very little time before the assembly starts. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to go greet the Blackbeard's transport before Baltor kills someone." She rushed off, looking worried.

"Well, that didn't sound good," Xylon said, raising an eyebrow.

"Who cares?!?" Suzaku snorted. "Let's get to that palace before my bloody tail feathers melt!"

Mint agreed. As the four of them set off for the palace, she admired the wondrous city around her.

This isn't so bad, she thought with a smile. I think I'm going to like it here.

How very wrong she was.

Siren: Review, please! No flames, but constructive criticism is fine.

Kaela: If your character did not show up in this chapter, he/she will definitely be in the next couple. We are still accepting applications at this point.

Siren: To apply, just fill out the form below and send it to this email address:

**sarahschu(at)mail(dot)com**

Kaela: Oh, and one more thing.

**DO NOT SIGN UP VIA REVIEW!!!! ANY APPLICATIONS SUBMITTED IN A REVIEW WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED!!!!**

_Name:_

_Penname:_

_Gender:_

_Age (does not have to be a specific number):_

_Eye color:_

_Hair color:_

_Any other distinguishing features:_

_Nationality (circle one): Nasr Valua Ixa'taka Yafutoma Glacia Soltis Mid Ocean Other (please specify): _

_Are you good, evil, or neutral?_

_Favorite Character: _

_Least Favorite Character:_

_Lust Object(s):_

_Do you know what a Mary-Sue/Gary-Stu is?_

_Do you write them?_

_Name three pairings you support._

_Name three pairings you despise._

_Any additional comments (be brief): _

_By signing below, you, the future student of the Official Fanfiction University of the Arcadian Skies (hereafter referred to as OFUAS), hereby agree that OFUAS is not responsible for any physical or mental damage done to your person or belongings during your stay at OFUAS. Anything you care to write on this form can and will be used to make your as unpleasant as possible. By writing this in such small print, we guarantee that you will probably not read this, and are already dreaming up your latest Vyse/OC romance, creating chibis, and/or wreaking havoc with canon. So just sign the line and make everyone happy, you evil Sue-writer._

_By signing the line below, you agree to everything written above._

_X_

_Thank you, and have a wonderful school year!_

_Lady Kae and Commandante Koi_

_Deputy Headmistresses_


	3. Larger than Fiction

The Official Fanfiction University of the Arcadian Skies

Kaela: Hi, everyone! Thanks for all of the lovely reviews and applications! We have 28 students attending OFUAS currently (including Mint).

Siren: YAY! Keep those applications coming!

Kaela: Now, to answer all those reviews.

Desert Lynx: I'm glad you liked it. More to come!

theoneknownasme: We're glad we hit Xylon's personality. Like we told you, we were going on instinct. Thanks for agreeing to be one of our beta readers! We're really glad that you _meant_ to put emerald green eyes, because that's what you got, Gem-in-eyes!

Lady Lanet: Thank you! We did need a beta reader, so you and theoneknownasme shall beta-read OFUAS! Don't worry; Liv is appearing in this chapter. You're going to see her pain, we promise…

Necromancer Aiko666: Actually, you weren't very crazy on your form. It was a pity, too—we didn't get to mess with much. XD Keep reading!

plutospawn: "Squee", huh? That sounds like fun! Oh, well. We got to tinker around with your appearance…hehehe.

Kaash're: You're right, of course. Why didn't we think of that? Don't sweat it, though. We fixed it in this chapter. You were right about the Minis, except that everyone in Mid Ocean fall under the Zelos category, and people from whereabouts unknown are Plergoth. Speaking of the Minis, way to go! You have created the first Mini in your review! _Ilchymis_ is not pleased. (Ichlimis the Yeligar-mini will make an appearance as Commandante Koi's assistant/bodyguard.) Be prepared for Suzaku's punishment.

succorelle: Thank you.

Kenji14 (x2): Again, thank you.

MagicianFairy: For the fourth time, thanks.

YamiYumes: We would never yell at anyone for making a good original character. Those are very much appreciated here.

Enchanting Cackle: Thank you. We've never actually read that one; we'll have to check it out.

Jessi a.k.a. Crash: We're glad that we made you laugh. That was part of the point. Keep following us.

Rednal29: Thank you very much! We love seeing other OFU writers. Your muses are in for some pain, yes indeed. Poor Metal-head…we almost feel sorry for her.

Sensational Sista: Thanks. . Actually, we don't fall asleep in school, but it's the kind of thing Mint would do. We're glad it amused you.

Evergladelord: Thank you. Consider it done.

Slaanesh: Same to you. By the way, we're having lots of fun with your submitted character. He is sooo dead….

Keiichi Loire:  
Siren:I am sorry to inform you _Mr._ Rivira that your application has indeed been accepted. The only thing you did by making it more explicit was to give us more to mess with while making it seem unfathomably more Stu-ish. Thank you and have a good day! 

Kaela: Siren! Be nice to the reviewer! I'm very sorry for her attitude; she's just a little edgy today.

Siren: Whew…that was a lot of reviews. We may have to start only personally answering the ones with questions.

Kaela: I'm sorry Lady Lanet, we tried to wait for you to beta read. But you weren't answering.

Disclaimer: We do not own the plot or characters of Skies, and we never have; SEGA and Overworks do. Moreover, Miss Cam owns the concept of OFUs.

Chapter 3: Larger than Fiction

The city was much larger in reality than it had seemed to Mint in the video game. She and the other three students had been walking for hours, it seemed, and they had still not reached the palace. Mint reminded herself that Nasrad had been in ruins the last time she had seen it on a television screen, while the life-size Nasrad she saw now had obviously been rebuilt and expanded, but it didn't stop her from being in awe of the place.

They were currently meandering through an exotic marketplace, their appearances drawing stares from the crowds around them. Claudia beamed, apparently flattered, but Xylon shifted uncomfortably; he didn't appear to be enjoying the attention.

Suzaku, who had been walking along with a scowl on her face, suddenly stopped short, sending both Mint and Claudia running into her.

"Ouch!" the two yelled. Mint was about to apologize, but the cranky Valuan was quicker. "Watch where you're going, Chicken Feet!"

Xylon, walking ahead, sighed and turned around. "Meh. What's eating you three now?" His patience with the girls was obviously wearing thin.

At first, Suzaku answered neither, staring down at herself. Her scowl had vanished, replaced with an expression of wonder. "Wait a second…" The shout that followed made Mint lose her balance and fall over. "I HAVE WINGS!"

"Oh, well spotted," Claudia snapped, her voice oozing sarcasm. Mint stood up and dusted of her dress, self-consciously aware that there were more people staring at them now, and the other conversations had died away.

"That's not what I meant," came the retort. "I meant, if I'm encumbered with these bloody things…do you think they work? I mean, can I use 'em?"

Mint shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe."

Suzaku looked excited. "Really? Dude, that would be sooooooo awesome!"

"No, it wouldn't," Claudia cut in, the heat still making her ill-tempered.

"Yes, it would!" Suzaku's tail feathers bristled, causing an astonished murmur to shoot through the crowd.

"No, it wouldn't!" repeated the Valuan snappishly. "Besides, I don't believe you can actually fly. You're just making it up to get attention."

"No, I'm not! Who asked you, anyway?"

"_You_ did, Chicken Feet!"

"Meh, this is stupid," Xylon muttered. "If you want to know so badly, Suzaku, why don't you try them and find out?"

Suzaku brightened and turned away from her argument. "Okay." Closing her eyes, she flapped her wings and slowly rose into the air. Soon she was high above them and the crowd craned their necks to look up at her.

"Woo-hoo!" she shrieked, opening her eyes. "I can _fly_! In your face, Claudia!" She soared and dove in the air, getting more excited by the moment. "Whee!"

A tap on her shoulder brought Mint sharply back to earth. A local merchant was standing behind her, his crooked yellow teeth open in a menacing smile. She felt herself take a step backward.

"Do not be frightened, fruit-laden young maiden. I just want a moment of your time." He chuckled at his own joke while Mint went redder than the strawberries in her hair. Xylon turned around, looking from one to the other. "I will pay you five hundred gold pieces for your charming companion," the merchant continued, watching the Phoenix Anthro circle above them with a rather hungry look. "Never before have I seen such a marvel!"

"What?" Mint was shocked. "I-I can't sell her! She's my friend!"

The merchant shook his head. "But I simply must have her! Seven hundred gold pieces!"

"She isn't for sale," Xylon said firmly, coming to stand next to Mint. Although he looked calm and resolute, Mint noticed that his hand was trembling on the hilt of his sword.

Their opponent sighed. "You drive a hard bargain, young sir. All right, one thousand gold pieces and not a coin more!"

"She's _not for sale_, Abdul," cut in a new voice. Another merchant approached them, looking very stern.

The merchant who wanted Suzaku (apparently Abdul) glowered at the new arrival. "Keep your nose out of my business, you old meddler!"

"Her Ladyship and the Commandante expressly made known that _all_ students of the university are off-limits. You know that as well as I," retorted the older man.

Abdul feigned a look of surprise, fooling no one. "What? I-I had no idea that they were students!"

"Of course you didn't," said the other merchant wryly. "However, I shudder to think what might happen if they were to hear of this up at the school. Her Ladyship has the ear of the new Nasultan, they say."

Abdul went very white, almost green. "Hakim, old friend," he said, trembling, "you wouldn't _really_ turn me in, would you? It was a misunderstanding!"

"If you apologize to these youngsters," the other replied slowly, gesturing to the three students (by this time Claudia had joined them), "her Ladyship will never find out what a mistake you've made from _me_. I shall say no more."

Abdul grumbled, but grudgingly said to them, "I withdraw my offer, young sir and misses. Your servant begs forgiveness."

"That's much better," put in the other before any of the teens could answer Abdul. He turned to face the students and bowed. "My sincerest apologies. If you four require assistance, I would be happy to show you the way to the palace."

"Thank you," Xylon replied, looking very relieved. "We'd appreciate your help."

Their rescuer led them through the convoluted marketplace, Suzaku still flying above them and crowing, with Claudia grumbling and calling her a show-off. This time, people no longer stared at the group as they passed; quite the contrary, it seemed to Mint that the Nasreans were trying extremely hard _not_ to look at them. It made her almost as self-conscious as before.

Trying to think of something else, Mint studied their guide. He was very old, with a tanned, weathered face, a long white beard, and kindly dark eyes. Clothed in a white tunic, white leggings, and a yellow double-tailed cap, he seemed familiar in a way that Abdul and the woman who had met them at the docks had not.

"Hey, wait a second! I know you!" she exclaimed. The others turned around to look at her, curiously. "Yeah, I definitely know you," Mint went on excitedly. "You're that merchant dude with the Valuan passport!"

The other three turned to face him, recognition lighting up their eyes. The merchant smiled widely and bowed to her. "You are not mistaken, young miss. I did indeed give Vyse a Valuan passport during his adventure. My name is Hakim."

"Yeah, I knew it!" Mint replied, ecstatic that she'd been right. "I didn't recognize you at first because you're such an unimportant character, but it didn't take me that long to figure it out."

Hakim's face darkened at her comment. "I don't think much of your manners, young Silvite. Anyway, if you would stop to think for merely a moment, you would realize that Vyse's adventure would never have happened if not for my assistance. You would want to take that erroneous statement back at once."

"What the bloody heck does 'erroneous' mean?" asked Suzaku, landing beside them. She was finally ready to walk, it seemed.

"Yeah, what the bird said," put in Mint, and Claudia leaned forward to hear his answer.

Hakim sighed, a look of long-suffering in his gentle eyes. "I think I'm beginning to see why you've been brought here."

"Beg pardon, sir?" queried Xylon.

"Never mind," Hakim said firmly. "It isn't worth the effort."

After a few more minutes of walking, Hakim led them around a corner, and pointed. "There's the palace, straight ahead."

"At last!" cried Claudia in ecstasy. "I'll be able to get out of this heat!" She ran off, hitching up her long skirt.

Suzaku went after her, calling to them over her feathered shoulder, "Thanks for getting us outta there, ya old geezer!" Hakim plastered a smile on his face and tried not to clench his fists. Xylon rubbed his temples and started after the others, muttering to himself.

"C'mon, Mint," he called over his shoulder. "We're late enough already."

Shrugging, Mint followed, as grateful as Claudia to be getting inside, but a little wistful to be leaving the shining streets of the city. Nasrad was beautiful, in an exotic sort of way, and she thought she could get used to it.

A gaggle of teens was assembled in front of the majestic building, talking excitedly. Mint dashed up and stood on the edge of the group, panting.

The girl next to her, dressed in Nasrean clothing and not seeming to mind the heat, turned to smile at her. "Hey, good timing. Any later and you would've missed the transport."

"Transport?" Mint looked confused. "What trans—"

But she got no further than that. At that moment a sleek, shiny barge sank from the sky and hovered in front of them. A wide plank extended from the side and reached to the ground. The girl shot Mint a toothy grin and started up the plank after the rest of the crowd. Mint had just enough time to clamber over the deck rail before the plank slid out of sight and the transport barge began to rise slowly into the air. Once it was high enough, it pivoted and whooshed off westward at a surprising speed (for a barge, that is).

Mint lurched dangerously for a few moments, but her acquaintance soon came over to offer a steadying hand. She took it gratefully. "Thanks."

"Anytime." Again her companion flashed Mint the infectious smile, her dark green eyes twinkling and dancing with her pleasure. Mint couldn't help grinning a little along with her.

Reaching an inner decision, Mint stuck out her hand. "I'm Mint Cortèz," she told the girl. "Who're you?"

"Sam Istrali. _Samolianne_ Istrali, actually, but that's such a mouthful." She jerked her thumb over her shoulder. "And that's Bryony. Hey, Bryony, come over here; I found someone with weirder hair than _you_!"

Mint thought that Sam was a fine one to talk about _weird hair_. Although it was partially obscured by a Nasrean headscarf, Mint could see that it was made of rigid purple crystal. She was about to protest the insult when Sam called out, "Well, what's the holdup?"

A slight murmur reached their ears. "What do you mean, you're nervous?" Sam said in exasperation. "I know you're shy and all, but she seems like a nice girl. Come on, take a chance!"

A small, slender girl came walking out of the crowd, and started toward them. She was dressed in an outlandish Ixa'takan tribal costume, complete with a full headdress of blue-grey feathers, that Mint thought would make anyone nervous. Her wide blue-grey eyes were darting from side to side, as if she was looking for something.

"Now _that's_ more like it!" cried Sam, clapping her hands. She gestured to each of them in turn. "This is Bryony Kingfisher, the only Ixa'takan on the transport, if not in the whole school. Bryony, this is Mint Cortèz."

The Ixa'takan attempted an expression of pleasure, but trembled a little. "Pleased to meet you," she said, nodding her head vigorously. "I-I see that you made a similar mistake on the form. Mine was kingfisher blue." She gestured to the feathers on her head.

Mint stared, as comprehension dawned. "Wait, hold on…is that your _hair_?" The girl nodded again, sadly. Mint, hating to see anyone so ill at ease, tried to cheer her up. "At least yours looks like it's part of your costume. Mine just looks dumb." She looked at one of the strawberries and scowled.

Bryony brightened and seemed about to answer when a hush fell through to the crowd. The three of them turned toward what the others were looking at: a large platform.

Two people had appeared on the platform. One was a large, beefy man with gigantic muscles and an expression to scare the pants off anybody. The other was a little boy, wearing large glasses, a flowing robe, and a turban that was almost bigger than he was.

"Welcome, new students, to the Official Fanfiction University of the Arcadian Skies," said the boy, his voice surprisingly loud. "Some of you may recognize me as Rupee Larso…"

"Get off the stage, you scrawny little whiner!" came a cry from near the front. The speaker was a black-haired teen wearing Valuan armor. "Nobody likes you, anyway, you lousy—"

The huge man on the platform cracked his knuckles suggestively and shot a dangerous look at the interrupter. "That will do, Mr. Kerridan." The teen shut up almost at once, eyes wide.

"…and most of you will remember my bodyguard, Barta," continued Rupee with a slight smirk on his face. Barta grinned evilly, sending a shiver through the crowd. "We've been asked to take you to the University grounds, and we should be arriving…" Rupee turned around and looked around the left end of the bow. "Right about now."

At his words, the barge began to slow down. Looking in the direction he was pointing, Mint gasped.

Along the top of the desert cliff behind the palace, about twenty unfamiliar structures had been erected. They were arranged in a semicircle around a grassy plot of land with a smattering of trees in its center. The largest, at the top of the semicircle, was a gigantic white building with slender columns and a lot of steps leading up to its wooden doors. To its right and left were two slightly smaller buildings with lots of windows, both rather plain-looking. Six of the buildings beyond that were in completely different styles, from a lush tropical tree-hut to a shining silvery circular building to a squat rectangle of what appeared to be crystal. Other, less spectacular buildings were arranged around the remaining area. A long harbor stretched along the eastern end of the cliff, with what appeared to be hundreds of crafts, similar to the one they were currently riding, docked in their ports.

Mint had gotten lost trying to find Maramba enough times to be very familiar with the area around Nasrad, but she didn't recognize this place. She was sure that she would have remembered something like this.

Their barge slid into the dock, and the ramp slid out seamlessly. Rupee and Barta disembarked first, followed by the mob of students. Some were looking about them in awe. Others were whispering to their neighbors excitedly. The black-haired boy who had yelled at Rupee appeared to be sulking.

"This place is AWESOME!" muttered Sam, craning her neck to look around. Her crystal hairs clinked against each other. "But where did it _come_ from?"

"No idea," Mint replied. "It certainly wasn't in the game!"

An unfortunate girl with watering eyes and a great deal of rust on her scalp came up next to them. "That's for sure. They probably built the place recently. After all, Nasrad wasn't like that in the game either."

"H-have you got something in your eyes, Jess?" Bryony asked curiously.

"In a matter of speaking," the Valuan girl said with a sigh. "I said they were 'smoke grey.' And I'm allergic to smoke."

Everyone winced.

"That's not the worst thing, though," Jess continued. "All I put on the form for my nationality was 'Valua.' Why am I a Lower City person when so many others aren't?"

"Count your lucky stars," muttered another voice. Claudia had joined them. "The girls from Upper City have to wear corsets. Believe me, it's no picnic." She fanned herself in irritation and moved off through the crowd. Mint felt a little sorry for her.

"Attention, please!" shouted Rupee at the top of his lungs. Everyone stopped talking, and some threw cautious glances at Barta. "Thank you," Rupee went on in a more normal voice. "Proceed directly to the Great Hall, the white building at the far end of the Commons. Once inside, go through the double doors on your left to reach the auditorium. Do _not_ enter the doors on the right or at the end of the hall under any circumstances. Are we clear?"

There was a slight murmur of assent from the crowd. Barta frowned. "When Master Rupee asks you a question, you must answer with either 'Yes, Master Rupee' or 'No, Master Rupee'. _Got it?_" His glare was chilling.

The teenagers all nodded vigorously.

"Then say it!" snapped Barta.

"Yes, Master Rupee," chorused the new students.

"All right, then," Rupee answered, the slight smirk back on his face. "Hurry along, now; the opening ceremony is about to start."

Everyone scattered, trying to get away from Rupee Larso and his bodyguard as fast as they possibly could.

Mint pushed open the massive wooden doors of the Great Hall and found herself in a spacious antechamber with marble floors and more columns, all polished to be mirror-bright. She wanted to stick around and explore a little, but Sam tugged on her hand, saying, "Come _on_! We're going to be late!" and dragged her through the doors on the left.

The auditorium looked a lot like the one at Mint's high school back home, with red leather seats and blue velvet curtains on the stage. However, the one at her high school was the size of a _broom closet_ when compared to this place. The stage alone was the same size as her cafeteria, and the audience section was even larger. In addition, there was lush, red carpeting under their feet, and lots of chandeliers dotted the high ceiling.

Sam, Bryony, and Mint located some seats in the middle of the center section and nearly collapsed into them, relieved to be on time. To Mint's surprise, the stiff leather was almost as unyielding as the bleachers in her high school football field, and she found herself sitting up straight for a change.

"Just barely made it here, didn't you?" said someone on her left. Mint leaned around Sam to see another teenage girl, about her own age, staring back at her.

She was dressed in a costume that Mint didn't recognize: a thick, woven tunic and leggings, both of what looked like a material similar to wool, but wasn't; a short cape lined with some alien fur, and thick furred boots. Aside from her odd ensemble, the girl might have been Mint's twin. Her eyes were teal, exactly the same shade as Mint's, and her hair was also blond, minus the strawberries, of course. There was a little more brown in it as well, Mint noticed, but brown was better than fruit.

Maybe it was the imperious tilt of her chin and the scathing look in the other girl's eyes, or perhaps it was that she seemed to have managed much better on her application form than Mint had; it wasn't known. Nevertheless, for whatever reason, Mint disliked the girl on sight.

"Oh, hello!" Sam chirped in brightly. "I'm Sam Istrali. What's your name, if you don't mind my asking?"

The girl turned to Sam, a smile softening her face. "I'm Liv," she answered congenially. She snapped her eyes back to Mint, her scorn returning. "And who are you?"

Mint felt her face grow hot, but kept her temper under control. "Mint." It was a brusque, unfriendly reply, she knew, but she couldn't help herself.

Liv raised an eyebrow, and then grinned. "_Mint_?" She seemed on the verge of laughter.

"What's wrong with my name?" Mint snapped.

"Oh, nothing at all," Liv drawled, still grinning. "I was just thinking that it doesn't suit you."

"Oh, really?" Mint said rapidly, clenching her fists at her side. "And what would be a better name, hmm? I'm waiting."

Liv's grin became slightly more pronounced. "Oh, there are dozens. But I think that the best name for you would be…" She paused for effect, her eyes lingering on Mint's hair. "Strawberry."

Mint leapt up from her seat. She was about to give Liv a piece of her mind, and a piece of her fists, when Bryony whispered, "Shh! It's starting!"

Mint sat back down, and the lights dimmed. The curtains drew back to reveal the stage: empty except for about thirty chairs, a podium, and two women.

The first was extremely tall and willowy, wearing a long billowing black dress and a green sash that did more to accent her height. Her complexion looked slightly darker than most, Mint thought, but it could just be the light. Her red hair was wound into a coronet around her head, but it was obvious that it would be quite long if she let it hang loose. Her eyes were amber brown, and they appeared to glow with an imposing light.

The second woman was dwarfed by comparison, although she was only a little shorter than average. She was wearing a somber, grey, army jumpsuit, decorated with all sorts of medals that Mint couldn't quite make out. Her hair was very pale blond, almost white, and tied back in a messy ponytail under her matching cadet's hat. Despite that, she appeared to be the younger of the two, although age was impossible to discern for either of the women. One wouldn't have thought that someone like this could look dangerous, either, but she did. There was a glint in her baby blue eyes that was definitely sadistic.

The first woman approached the podium, reaching down to pull up the microphone, while the second went and took a seat in one of the two front chairs on the stage. Her eyes cast over the student body, and many quickly averted their eyes. That gaze chilled them to the bone.

"Welcome, new students, to your first year at the Official Fanfiction University of the Arcadian Skies." The speaker's voice was smooth and cultured, but something about it sent a shudder through Mint's body. "I am Lady Kae, one of the deputy headmistresses here at the University," continued the woman, "and my companion is Commandante Koi, the other, and our Head of Discipline. It will be her job to keep you in line, and punish you if you misbehave during your stay here."

Commandante Koi twisted her face into a truly evil smile. The crowd seemed to shrink back against their seats, cowering in fear. Bryony gave a quiet little whimper.

"Thank you, Commandante, that will do," Lady Kae interjected, shooting a look at her companion. The woman sniffed and turned her face away, while the attendees relaxed as one.

Lady Kae turned back to the students and continued, "It is a pleasure to see so many new faces." She sounded as if she was commenting on a squashed slug by the roadside. "I am quite certain that your stay here will be extremely," she paused, "educational. But, before I continue, it is high time I introduced the rest of the staff."

Two single file lines of people entered from the wings and took their seats on the stage. At once, the auditorium burst into fervent chatter.

"Oh my god, that's _Vyse_! AndGilder!" squealed Liv, her former scorn vanished without a trace.

"And Aika and Belleza!" shouted a boy three rows ahead of them.

"And look! There's Fina and Ramirez!" someone else said.

_Ramirez_….Mint felt her brain liquefy, as it always did when she saw him. His seat was off to the left of her, in the front row, and she could tell from here that he was even dreamier in real life.

"Your _attention_, please!" screamed Lady Kae, but no one paid her the slightest mind. She was really getting angry when Commandante Koi calmly stood up, walked over to the podium, pulled down the microphone, and spoke for the first time in a slightly childish voice.

"Be quiet."

That was all she said. But the tone in her voice was steely enough to bring a dead silence sweeping through the hall like a tsunami. The students turned toward her, nearly petrified with fright. Commandante Koi pushed the microphone back into its original position and returned to her seat.

Lady Kae stood in front of the podium once more, looking quite relieved. "Thank you, Commandante." The woman smoothed out a crease in her robe. "Now, as I was explaining before, you have been brought here because of the _revolting_ fanfiction that has dominated the _Skies of Arcadia_ section. Something has to be done, and soon. Therefore, the cast of the aforementioned video game have kindly agreed to help me teach you how to write properly."

The crowd erupted once more, but Lady Kae silenced them with a look nearly as deadly as Commandante Koi's. She continued to speak, but Mint barely heard her. She was drowning in delight, watching Ramirez and drooling. A few phrases would occasionally pierce through to her consciousness, (of which 'LTP' and 'Chibius Minimus Maximus' were two) but it made no impression on her. In the depths of her murky imagination, she saw herself being taught by Ramirez. Of course, it would quickly become something more intimate than just teacher and pupil…

"**_VYSE!_**"

What? Mint snapped out of her mindless drooling. On the stage, Lady Kae and the extremely startled Blue Rogue froze. Heads snapped to the lower left section, where a girl had leapt to her feet. She was another Silvite, Mint saw, and her hair appeared black at this distance. The girl who had shouted catapulted toward Vyse, who was completely exposed near the podium.

A Yafutoman student several rows away sprang from her chair and tore after the Silvite, and the floodgates were opened. Thousands of Vyse fangirls hurtled toward the stage, preparing to glomp. Liv was among them, but Mint's dress had gotten caught on her seat. (Later, she was to be very glad that her seat was such a problem.) She was disentangling herself when she was distracted by what was happening on stage.

Aika, her orange pigtails bouncing, leapt in front of Vyse, drew out her boomerang, and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Back off! ALPHA STORM!"

A column of fire came out of her spinning weapon, incinerating the girls. Screams rent the air as clothes and bodies caught on fire. Some of the Aika fanboys who had started running up when she appeared hurriedly dodged out of the way, but most of them didn't stop charging. Vyse hastily yelled, "Pirates of old, _defend our cause_!"

The boys ran straight into the ancient pirate ghost shielding Aika, tumbling backward from their momentum. The Skull Shield that Vyse had summoned then commenced cutting them to ribbons. A subdued silence fell over the remaining students, now that only half of them were still alive.

"Thank you both," said Lady Kae, her voice a little shaken. "That was well done."

"You're welcome, milady," replied Aika, a little too calmly. Vyse merely nodded, his eyes as wide as dinner plates.

Turning back to the students, Lady Kae spoke. "I think we shall skip Vyse's planned inspirational speech, in light of recent events." Getting a closer look at them, she frowned. "Oh, snap out of it, all of you. They aren't _really_ dead; Nurse Lillian will have them all back on their feet in a few hours." Some of the students, like Bryony, relaxed, while others still looked suspicious.

"Now, to sum up my speech, in two days' time classes will begin. This delay is to allow you to get acquainted with the school and its grounds. Schedules will be distributed to each student tomorrow. Now, when I release you, you will proceed to the dormitories—boys, the first building on the right; girls, same on the left—and find your assigned room on the list. Your dorm inspectors will be coming by to announce supper."

She gave them a final, penetrating look, and then sighed. "That is all. You are dismissed."

All over the auditorium, students stood up, stretched, and left. Mint, finally unhooking her dress, took another look at the scene of massacre and gulped. It wasn't an auspicious beginning.

Siren: Review, please! No flames, but constructive criticism is fine.

Kaela: If your character did not show up in this chapter, he/she will definitely be in the next one. We are still accepting applications at this point.

Siren: To apply, just fill out the form below and send it to this email address:

**sarahschu(at)mail(dot)com**

Kaela: Oh, and one more thing.

**DO NOT SIGN UP VIA REVIEW! ANY APPLICATIONS SUBMITTED IN A REVIEW WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED!**

_Name:_

_Penname:_

_Gender:_

_Age (does not have to be a specific number):_

_Eye color:_

_Hair color:_

_Any other distinguishing features:_

_Nationality (circle one): Nasr Valua Ixa'taka Yafutoma Glacia Soltis Mid Ocean Other (please specify): _

_Are you good, evil, or neutral?_

_Favorite Character: _

_Least Favorite Character:_

_Lust Object(s):_

_Do you know what a Mary-Sue/Gary-Stu is?_

_Do you write them?_

_Name three pairings you support._

_Name three pairings you despise._

_Any additional comments (be brief): _

_By signing below, you, the future student of the Official Fanfiction University of the Arcadian Skies (hereafter referred to as OFUAS), hereby agree that OFUAS is not responsible for any physical or mental damage done to your person or belongings during your stay at OFUAS. Anything you care to write on this form can and will be used to make your as unpleasant as possible. By writing this in such small print, we guarantee that you will probably not read this, and are already dreaming up your latest Vyse/OC romance, creating minis, and/or wreaking havoc with canon. So just sign the line and make everyone happy, you evil Sue-writer._

_By signing the line below, you agree to everything written above._

_X_

_Thank you, and have a wonderful school year!_

_Lady Kae and Commandante Koi_

_Deputy Headmistresses_


End file.
